Friendship Breakups Are Real, Especially on the Spiritual Path - Lets talk about it.

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Consciously Thriving podcast. Hello. [00:00:06] Speaker B: Excited to be back? [00:00:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Shalei and I had a big weekend. [00:00:10] Speaker B: We did. Which is not really common for us. [00:00:12] Speaker A: No. We went out, drank, did the thing. [00:00:16] Speaker B: And it's taken us for five days to recover, relax. [00:00:20] Speaker A: Actually though, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. It's Tuesday. Three days. Three days. Calm down. [00:00:26] Speaker B: Nah, I'm getting old now. I can't do it anymore. [00:00:28] Speaker A: No. 100%. No. I'm feeling it a little bit more. [00:00:31] Speaker B: But we don't really go. We don't do those things a lot. Like we don't go out, we don't drink. Like we did. We did a lot then. [00:00:38] Speaker A: Yeah. A lot of which I'm safe to say I'm glad that we don't because I don't want to feel like every weekend. [00:00:46] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It does your vibe. [00:00:48] Speaker A: It does 100. You got like when you got commitments and work to do. Luckily we had. It was like the long weekend in Australia. Well Melbourne. So we had some time to recover. [00:00:58] Speaker B: Yeah, thankfully. [00:00:59] Speaker A: Thankfully. [00:00:59] Speaker B: So many people like, like our friends obviously follow the brands that we do like you know, that we have online and they were like, oh my God. Just didn't think that you guys would like drink and go out all out like this. And we were just like hehe. [00:01:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:12] Speaker B: Honestly, no. I don't know. I've always been that type of person though to like have a good time and party. [00:01:19] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. Love it. [00:01:21] Speaker B: I love it. [00:01:22] Speaker A: Same. [00:01:22] Speaker B: I'm all about it. I'm liking that. But not like it's like I'm all about it and no you know how. [00:01:28] Speaker A: To have a good time. But then also like, you know, let's have a break. Let's have a break. Cuz alcohol is obviously doing that a lot. [00:01:34] Speaker B: Literally. Like I'll like be like, okay guys, I'm good for months now. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:01:39] Speaker B: I don't understand people that do it like every weekend. I'm like, yeah. [00:01:43] Speaker A: How do they drink and get like drunk every single weekend? That's cooked surely like your. No, cuz they're constantly feeling it. The next day you wouldn't be feeling your best. [00:01:53] Speaker B: You just wouldn't be. [00:01:54] Speaker A: No. [00:01:55] Speaker B: Like it's taken us so long to like. [00:01:57] Speaker A: Well that. That's because we don't do it that much. [00:01:59] Speaker B: Yeah, that's true. [00:02:00] Speaker A: Like maybe now I still feel like you'd feel like shit. I'm sorry, I'm just not willing to do that to myself. [00:02:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. After the night that you just said. [00:02:09] Speaker A: Yeah. It's like, fun, but, like, I think the repercussions of that. [00:02:15] Speaker B: It's not worth it. [00:02:16] Speaker A: It's not worth it. [00:02:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Anyway. [00:02:19] Speaker A: And when you're high on life. [00:02:22] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:02:24] Speaker A: That was really lame. [00:02:25] Speaker B: That was so lame. That gave me the ick and fingers. So if you. If you're listening on the podcast. You did these, like, finger things. I don't know what just happened. [00:02:37] Speaker A: Me either. Different people. Okay. No, honestly, I'm really excited for today's episode. It's a deep one considering the state we're in. [00:02:48] Speaker B: We cannot be hungover three days after an event like that. That's so true. [00:02:52] Speaker A: No, I think mine's more just tired. Yeah. [00:02:55] Speaker B: And also, like, you know, when you get off a long weekend, because we just had a long weekend here, and. [00:02:59] Speaker A: Then you go back to work and it's like. [00:03:00] Speaker B: Yeah, it kind of feel. Feels like that because I feel like my whole routine was out of whack. [00:03:05] Speaker A: Yeah, I get that. [00:03:06] Speaker B: You kind of just like. I don't know. [00:03:07] Speaker A: Throws you off a little bit. It does. Yeah. [00:03:09] Speaker B: Anyway, anyway, But I'm actually excited for this topic because it's something that came up a bit while we were out, actually, and it's kind of inspired this conversation today, which is all about friendships changing as you have your, like, spiritual awakening journey. Lots of friendships die off. Lots of friendships evolve and change because you changed so much, and your preferences and your standard changes so much. And there's just so much to navigate in that. And not only in, like, friendships, but also, like, family relationships as well. That's, like, one of the biggest things I know I work on with clients is. [00:03:51] Speaker A: Is that. [00:03:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:52] Speaker A: Yeah, it actually is. It's like the relationships and the people you have in your life. Like, how do you navigate that? Yeah. While kind of changing your perspective on things, how you see the world. It can be really overwhelming. Yeah. I was overwhelmed when I went through it. [00:04:07] Speaker B: It is overwhelming because you feel like your entire. It's like an identity crisis. You feel really alone. Like, I guess. Let's go, like, all the way back to the start, because I had my spiritual awakening before Nadia did. [00:04:19] Speaker A: Yeah. So. [00:04:20] Speaker B: So I was going through my spiritual awakening alone. It was in the vid times, you know. Covid. [00:04:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:27] Speaker B: So I was literally having this awakening completely alone, learning about all these new things about myself. And I remember, like, whenever I would talk to you, you were actually going through, like, the peak of, like, your health anxiety, and you were in grief because. [00:04:45] Speaker A: My own insecurities as well. Yeah. [00:04:47] Speaker B: There was just, you Were just that. Like, an older version. [00:04:50] Speaker A: Yeah. I was an older version of myself. [00:04:51] Speaker B: And I just remember when I had my awakening, like, I couldn't relate to you. I had no one to relate to. I couldn't relate to you. I couldn't relate to Daniel. I couldn't. Which is my partner. Like, I couldn't relate to anyone. [00:05:03] Speaker A: So, like, what. In what way? Like, so people can, like, actually understand how that feels. Just like, in our conversations, you. I feel like for you, it was like you were discovering a completely new realm of life. So it was, like, beyond just, like, the conversations and things. It's like you actually were just, like, realizing the way we live our life is so insane. It's like there was, like, a whole new world you had discovered. And, like, that can really separate you because you're just like, not even. Do you know what I mean? Like, not just the conversations, but just, like, I don't have anyone to talk to about this. [00:05:34] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's exactly what it was. It was like my interests were in this world of manifestation energy. I felt like I was learning about this side of the universe that I had no idea about. And then you'd go into normal conversations, and then everyone, like, for example, like, you would be talking about, like, just things that felt so, like, not important. [00:05:53] Speaker A: Exactly. Yeah. [00:05:54] Speaker B: And I'm just like, brother. Like, yeah. You know, I'm like. Like, even with Dan, like, I just. Nobody understood. And then there was also fear for me as well. There was fear of fully letting you guys in to knowing everything that I was tapping into. Because for me, I felt like I was going crazy. I went from being an atheist. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:14] Speaker B: To come, like, going into this world. So here I am, like, connecting to aliens, reading energy, learning about manifestation. I felt like a freak. Like, I felt like I was losing. [00:06:24] Speaker A: Yeah. I actually, like. So there was that. And then I remember the first time you were telling me what was happening at my house and you just started crying. Do you remember? [00:06:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:35] Speaker A: What were you feeling? [00:06:35] Speaker B: It was about aliens and stuff. Right. I was like, oh, maybe just spirituality in general. I can't remember. [00:06:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I think it was spirituality in general. And I remember you were just there, and I was like, are you okay? Like, what's wrong? Like, you, like, I need to tell you something. Blah, blah, blah. And were you, like, building up courage to tell me? Like. [00:06:51] Speaker B: Yeah, because I was so embarrassed. [00:06:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:53] Speaker B: And I was, like, thinking, like, once I tell you. Because you also hear online. So I'm learning from people who've had their spiritual awakening journeys and they tell you that the people in your life, like, they don't understand it. They'll think you're weird, and then they'll leave you. So they're the stories I was hearing from other people. [00:07:11] Speaker A: I can get that. Yeah. Yeah. And that's common with, like, when people, you know, turn religious or something like that. Like, we have these. Well, exactly. Misconceptions of them. We judge them. [00:07:20] Speaker B: Exactly. So I'm preparing for that reality. And I'm about, like, in my mind, I think I have a potential. The potentiality of losing the two most important people in my life. But then also, simultaneously, I will say I was prepared to do it. [00:07:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:07:35] Speaker B: Because I was like, I don't know. At that point, I had this, like. Like, I can't. I can't unknow what I know. I can't be different to who this version is. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:44] Speaker B: So I just knew I had no choice. [00:07:45] Speaker A: Well, fair enough. Like, if anyone was going to leave you because of that, then good riddance to them, to be honest. [00:07:51] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:52] Speaker B: But I think I was really lucky in, obviously, you and Dan. Particularly in you, I think. [00:07:58] Speaker A: Yeah. I think, like, I can't remember how Dan was, but I just remember when you cried. I was just like, never in my life do I want you to ever feel that you're weird. Do you know what I mean? [00:08:12] Speaker B: You really do have that, like, beautiful quality of. [00:08:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:16] Speaker B: Being able to, like, see. [00:08:17] Speaker A: I don't feel like I judge a whole lot, like, in that aspect. [00:08:20] Speaker B: Like. [00:08:21] Speaker A: Well, you know, and I think, like. [00:08:23] Speaker B: Maybe it's when you care about someone. Yeah. [00:08:25] Speaker A: It's when I can't. Like, we. I try, obviously, like, I work on any aspect of me that judges. But I. I just. From my perspective, I remember when you're telling me, not one part of me was like, you're weird. Yeah. Because I'm like, it's too late. Like, to me, like, it's like, you are who you are, and I didn't see you as something different. [00:08:42] Speaker B: And you have to think about this, guys. Like, I was coming into this and I was telling her about aliens. I'm saying I'm connecting to aliens. [00:08:51] Speaker A: Well, I don't think you said that right at the start. [00:08:53] Speaker B: Maybe you did not. [00:08:54] Speaker A: Right. [00:08:54] Speaker B: You just. No, right at the start, before you were even in this world. [00:08:57] Speaker A: Well, welcome. Welcome to this world. [00:09:01] Speaker B: No, it's just funny, like, the things that I was saying, and I could tell she didn't understand. She was like, that's okay. I don't get it, but I'm Happy for you, like, type of vibe. [00:09:08] Speaker A: I just remembered not wanting you to, like, cry and feel. [00:09:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:12] Speaker A: I just didn't want you to feel like that. I was like, no, not at all. [00:09:15] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:09:15] Speaker A: I would cry. [00:09:16] Speaker B: I'm getting emotional. No. Why am I getting emotional? [00:09:18] Speaker A: Why are you getting emotional? [00:09:19] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I'm fucking hungry. I'm getting emotional. Because it's really nice to have a friend like that. [00:09:25] Speaker A: Yeah, I think so. But I just. Yeah. I just remembered, for me, I was never would be willing to lose a friend over that. That's how I felt. Like, no way. And we were so close. Yeah. [00:09:36] Speaker B: I don't know if, like, prior to my spiritual awakening. Oh, my God. I don't know why I'm crying. Prior to my spiritual awakening, I don't know if I would have been the same had the roles been reversed. I think I would have been pretty judgmental with that old version of me. [00:09:54] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know if you would have been willing to lose me, because we were pretty close at that point. [00:09:58] Speaker B: That's true. [00:09:59] Speaker A: That's what it felt like. Yeah. Like, I would never want you to think because you're spiritual or you can. If anything, I was just like, oh, cool. Let's, like, you know, I'm telling you, you wouldn't. [00:10:10] Speaker B: But, yeah, it was like, the reason I'm getting emotional because it's like she then started researching about it. [00:10:16] Speaker A: Did I? Yeah. [00:10:16] Speaker B: You then started, like, learning about it so that you could, like, understand and relate to me. Like, that's pretty rare to find. Like, who does that? Like, you literally went out of your way. And I like astrology. [00:10:30] Speaker A: So, like, I am one of those people that. I feel like the people in my life. It's like, I will come along and, like, be there for the adventure because the big quality, like, one of my things is even my love language is quality time. Yeah. So it's like, I. If I really love you and I care about you, I will be willing to try things that you do. [00:10:48] Speaker B: That's true. [00:10:49] Speaker A: It is. [00:10:49] Speaker B: Even Dan, actually, now that I think about it, he. [00:10:52] Speaker A: Danny is very much like that. Yeah. [00:10:53] Speaker B: He didn't. He didn't understand it. He's like, I don't. I don't understand it. But, like, he would do small things. Like. Like, he'd be like, you do you. I got like, you know, like, that doesn't change us, like, type of vibe. But then he will do small things. Like, he bought me my first tarot. [00:11:07] Speaker A: Anthony. The same. When I got into it as well. It's It's. I'm telling you, it's because you love someone. Yeah. That's like you would, like, do. Yeah. Like, even the boys, like Anthony, would he. Like, if you think about. They had no idea what manifestation was and everything, but they adapted and they, like, tried and, like, even they started using the language and things like that. Yeah. And you do it when you really. [00:11:25] Speaker B: Love someone, literally, even. And you don't realize, like, how influential you are. Even when you think that they're not listening. Like, yesterday, randomly, Daniel just calls out 444. [00:11:38] Speaker A: And I was just like, what the. No, literally. Literally. [00:11:41] Speaker B: It was so funny. But anyway, so that was, like, my experience going into it. I was like, just. [00:11:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:49] Speaker B: Finding myself. Whatever. And then at that point, that's when you then obviously started going into the world through me because. [00:11:58] Speaker A: Well, I just started. I realized I had a lot of anxiety. Yeah. And things like that. So I started with the. I didn't start with aliens or anything like that, but I definitely started with, like, the breath work and the meditation because I was having a lot of health anxiety. My grandma was passing literally at the same time I was going through, like, my grandma passing away from cancer. So I was, like, facing death at that point. And I think it was, like, all very synchronous. [00:12:24] Speaker B: It was. [00:12:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:25] Speaker B: You came into that world at such a synchronistic point. [00:12:28] Speaker A: But I still wasn't, like. I wasn't into, like, shadow work and ego and things like that, but I was like, you ease yourself into it. Yeah. I still had a lot of work to do, but I was, like, opening up. [00:12:38] Speaker B: Yeah, you were opening up and just learning about energy and our thoughts. [00:12:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:42] Speaker B: And our nervous system. All of the things. [00:12:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:44] Speaker B: So then you start, like. Then we both, like, start basically getting in to the world. [00:12:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:49] Speaker A: But then you did a lot of programs. Yeah. [00:12:53] Speaker B: So I started to connect to a lot of people through the programs that I was doing online. And I started to make new friends in that sense. Like, I had a lot of spirit, which was really. [00:13:05] Speaker A: That was really important. Yeah. To have. [00:13:07] Speaker B: I needed that because I didn't have anyone. [00:13:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:10] Speaker B: You know, for a while. [00:13:11] Speaker A: 100. [00:13:11] Speaker B: Even when you were getting into it, you're still very. [00:13:13] Speaker A: Well, it's different languages. [00:13:15] Speaker B: Exactly. So I needed other people to talk to so I didn't feel like I was going crazy. And you just need that, like, relatability you do. I had that. [00:13:24] Speaker A: I remember trying to feel and trying to learn it, but I couldn't understand it. And I was like, I just Wanted you to, like, to relate. I was scared of losing our friendship as well, because I think I saw you connecting to these people, and I'm like, they're gonna know her. Like, they're gonna feel like she's gonna feel like they're connecting to her deeper, and there's, like, nothing I can do about it. Yeah. [00:13:43] Speaker B: I had that feeling when you first went off to work. [00:13:46] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:13:48] Speaker B: When you were in corporate. [00:13:49] Speaker A: Right. [00:13:49] Speaker B: And you would go out all the time. [00:13:50] Speaker A: What happens when you love someone? [00:13:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I used to be like, I would have to, like, prepare myself. I'd be like, all right. [00:13:55] Speaker A: Oh, that's it. No, no. But. But, yeah, No, I. It was still. I get that. [00:14:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I get that feeling. I had that feeling too. [00:14:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, also, I simultaneously, I'm so grateful you had those people because. Yeah. I wasn't ready. Like, I wasn't up to it. Like, I. I couldn't relate. So it's like. [00:14:13] Speaker B: And I think it was kind of good to go off on it, like, separately be independent. [00:14:18] Speaker A: Yeah. 100%. [00:14:19] Speaker B: You know what I mean? I think for me, one of my biggest things, that it happened for a reason. Because for me, when I first went into my spiritual awakening journey, I had to learn to trust myself and to have my own discernment, which I didn't have. So it's hard thinking back to this version. [00:14:37] Speaker A: Yeah. You go through everything on your own. [00:14:39] Speaker B: Was that person, like, it's so different to who I am now. [00:14:42] Speaker A: We did co. Depend on each other a little bit. [00:14:44] Speaker B: I was much more codependent, I think. [00:14:46] Speaker A: Do you think? [00:14:46] Speaker B: Yeah. 100. I, like, needed everyone's advice in order to make decisions. [00:14:51] Speaker A: Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. You needed to do this. [00:14:53] Speaker B: You know what I mean? So this, like, to do this on my own was such a gift in that sense. [00:14:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:59] Speaker B: But then, yeah. Obviously had so much fun when you. We're so lucky to have each other in this experience when your life is changing that dramatically. Because with the spiritual awakening, it's a complete identity shift, as you know. Right. As you're going through it as well as you've been through it. [00:15:13] Speaker A: And we will go into more. Like, if you are listening this. This. We are like, we also didn't have this experience with everyone else in our life. So. Yeah. You know, if you've had a hard time, then, you know, we do have a lot of advice to share, but, like, we're just sharing the first part of this story. [00:15:27] Speaker B: Yeah, the first part. I don't know why I started from the start. [00:15:30] Speaker A: I'm like, no, it's important too. Yeah. Because it's like paints a picture. Yeah. For people. Yeah. [00:15:34] Speaker B: Okay. So for me, I would say with my friendships. So obviously I had you, which was like. That was the most. That was the friendship I was most scared of losing. [00:15:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I was. [00:15:46] Speaker B: I feel like I was so like lucky and gifted in the way that you kind of like evolved with me. And then you kind of came on this journey, which was such a beautiful gift. The other relationship that like, while I said, you know, this person adapted and still continues to adapt to me and like mold, you know, to like, like he grows with me is Daniel. That was another relationship that I was like really afraid of losing. And I would say that we were more like on, like there was more. [00:16:16] Speaker A: You had a lot more to work to through together. [00:16:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:19] Speaker A: You were really. You had very like in peaks and troughs of your relationship. We did. Yeah. [00:16:24] Speaker B: A lot. [00:16:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:25] Speaker B: So there was a lot of like being willing to like let go and being without him, but also going through. [00:16:33] Speaker A: The pain of like having to be like, I'm so different from him. And. Yeah, you guys were very disconnected for a while. Well, you felt disconnected. [00:16:40] Speaker B: We were very disconnected. He even knows that. [00:16:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:42] Speaker B: Because he was going through his own thing during. [00:16:44] Speaker A: While I was out all the time without you. Like, you were always like, you were just wanting to be on your own. It was. [00:16:49] Speaker B: I wanted to be. [00:16:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:50] Speaker B: And I, I like appreciate that time. I needed to be on my own. I think that like when you've been in such a long term relationship and you're like in each other's faces, like, it's just, it's important. Nice to have like that space to kind of be with yourself. I even think now, like when I. I just think it's so important to cultivate alone time 100%. You know what I mean? Yeah. But yeah, there was like a point in our relationship where we were very disconnected. I remember this, like there was one point where we were at the. We were like at the forest area near my house and we just like had this discussion of like we weren't, we weren't meshing well and it was like. It was because of me, to be honest. Yeah. It's because of my. And this is like what I want to talk about in regards to relationships. And this is what ended up happening in a lot of my other relationships that weren't you because you kind of got on board and you were like, you know, feeding. [00:17:45] Speaker A: Whereas what do you do when they're not getting on board and how do you treat that? [00:17:48] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. So here I am having this spiritual awakening. I was still very ego focused and yet there were like, you know, people in my life that I was looking at, like my mom and my sister and Daniel. And they would still be entertaining lack and limitation. And then I looked at that as a reflection of me and how that's going to impact my life and keep us in lack and limitation. I really didn't see like I, I, it's like I was putting blame on these people around me. [00:18:16] Speaker A: Well, you were, it was kind of like you pedestaled yourself as like, I'm better than them. We've had episodes this, we've, we've done a lot of speaks about this. But that's what can happen when you get into this world. You like, you literally can, can convince yourself like you're better than people, you don't want to entertain that blah, blah, blah. And you push people away. [00:18:33] Speaker B: Literally. [00:18:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:34] Speaker B: And that's exactly what ended up happening. Like I ended up pushing them away and it like really drove a wedge in between me and Daniel's relationship because he was like, imagine like somebody trying to force a belief onto you. [00:18:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:48] Speaker B: And he's like, fuck off. Like you're not listening to me. [00:18:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:51] Speaker B: Yeah. And it just felt like both of us weren't being heard. And then there was this like aspect of me like looking down on him and being like. [00:18:58] Speaker A: Also when you get into that state, when you're in a long term relationship, I know this happened with Anthony as well. You start wondering like, what would it, what would it be if I was with a person that was more spiritual? [00:19:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:07] Speaker A: More like whatever ego wants to use. More self aware, more this. And like whilst those aspects can come true, like whilst those things can have truth behind them, like you can be in a relationship where you know there's more aligned people for you, but it's not going to come from that energy. So it was like there was a lot of looking down and yeah, a. [00:19:26] Speaker B: Lot of looking down, A lot of ego. And that really put a wedge in our relationship. And I also did that with like my family as well. And it was like every single time I would hang out with like my family, family, I'd be anxious, I'd be on edge. Did you ever feel that with your family? [00:19:39] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:19:40] Speaker B: Like literally I'm like not wanting them to come. Like I'm like, what am I putting in my subconscious? [00:19:44] Speaker A: I think it's also. Yeah, there was that aspect but then there was also I just want to give ourselves ease and grace. Because when you do go through this awakening where you're learning and you're growing and developing, there can be a big, like, I'm better than you think. But also, you. You are actually changing so much as a person that you can feel a little bit different and like, an outsider to the. The people around you. So it's like, it's normal as well to feel that. So I think there was a level of anxiety because I just felt like, oh, my God, there's this whole world that you're discovering, blah, blah. But you just need to be able to understand the difference between that and. [00:20:20] Speaker B: Then, like, actually, it's true. It is important to note that it was. It is overwhelming. [00:20:25] Speaker A: It is. [00:20:25] Speaker B: When you're like, wow. [00:20:26] Speaker A: It's like if you just fucking. [00:20:27] Speaker B: Even when you've woken up to, like, the illusion of it all. [00:20:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Even when you have breakthroughs and things like that, it's. It's just like, wow. You want, like, the people to know, and if they don't, like, understand it and get it and things like that, you can feel separated. Yeah. [00:20:38] Speaker B: And you can feel the difference. It feels like. Yeah. If it does, it really does. And it is scary because it's the people who have been so consistent in your life. [00:20:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:20:47] Speaker B: I feel like outside of that, though, that they were the people that I was probably most controlled with. But outside of that, you know, the friendships that I had, I felt like I. I feel like I've always been pretty. Like the type of person that's been, like, pretty malleable with my friendships. Like, in that I'm. I. I really understand that friendships change and evolve. [00:21:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:10] Speaker B: You're being pretty good. I don't really. Hold on. [00:21:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:12] Speaker B: Like, I just feel attached to. I don't feel attached to people. Like, the only people that I felt attached to were you and Daniel, and that's why it happened the way that it did. [00:21:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:19] Speaker B: But everyone else, it's like, I value them and I love them so much, and they're such important people in my life, but I do understand growth, and I think I've had so much of that growing up. [00:21:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:31] Speaker B: That I've had friendships evolve, and I've had people change that I'm just like, I'm. I'm. [00:21:35] Speaker A: And I think, like, the level on your relationship, like, how open were you to your other friends? Like, how much of your life did you already give them? Do you know what I mean? Like, you know, there's a difference between, like, I feel like, you have some friendships where, like, you know, you share so much of your life. They know you so deeply. And then there are friendships where it's like, you love them, you'll catch up and things like that, but you don't fully, like. Yeah, you're not so deeply with them. And I feel like that when. When it's that relationship, it doesn't feel like. Like as hard to lose. [00:22:06] Speaker B: That's true. [00:22:06] Speaker A: It's like, it's hard and you love them and that. That's sad. But it's like, you know. I don't know. [00:22:12] Speaker B: I know what you mean. [00:22:13] Speaker A: You're not as deep with them. So it's like. [00:22:15] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. It's like there is depth, but it's just not as much. [00:22:19] Speaker A: Yeah, as much. And that's normal. You're not going to be fucking close with every single person in your life. [00:22:24] Speaker B: And I think I just had a lot of friends like that. Yeah, I have a lot of friends that. It's like, we're like. [00:22:29] Speaker A: Well, when you have such a close relationship like ours. Yeah. And this is something we do get reflected a lot about our relationship. Like, it is very, very deep and very. We are very close and we have such a. Like, a deep connection that I think, like, if you're not gonna have that with it, kind of not seeing it. [00:22:47] Speaker B: Right. [00:22:47] Speaker A: Yeah. You're not gonna have that with everyone in your life. And I think, like, as you get older, you realize you don't want that either because it's like, it's a lot to give of yourself to people. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So normal to have, you know, maybe a few close, close, close friends and then, like, more like not even acquaintances, but you just don't give yourself as much. Like, imagine giving yourself as much to every single person, literally. It's exhausting. Yeah, it is. [00:23:10] Speaker B: You can't, like. It's a lot of effort. [00:23:12] Speaker A: It's like having a relationship look different. [00:23:14] Speaker B: It's like having a partner. [00:23:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:15] Speaker B: I think. [00:23:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:16] Speaker B: Honestly. [00:23:19] Speaker A: Seriously, like, these people that have throubles. Absolutely amazing. [00:23:24] Speaker B: Some work we have. We have a relationship that's like a partnership, just without sex. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Yes. [00:23:31] Speaker B: Where's the benefit? No, it's. It's. It's true. It's a lot of effort. So I think that's why when my, like, my friendships did change, when I had my spiritual awakening, they have evolved, and I've kind of just like, been cool with it. You know what I mean? I'm just like. It's not been. I don't Know, you just had to. [00:23:50] Speaker A: Learn to not project onto them. [00:23:51] Speaker B: I had to. That's exactly. [00:23:53] Speaker A: And just like have love and just see them for what they are. [00:23:56] Speaker B: I think my. The thing that I had to work on most when it came, like the hardest thing for me was like disempowering people who were in. [00:24:03] Speaker A: Lack. Yeah. [00:24:03] Speaker B: Who were really struggling. I really did see them in that way. [00:24:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:08] Speaker B: Like, I was like, oh, that's. You know, it's almost like there was this hierarchy. [00:24:13] Speaker A: Right. [00:24:13] Speaker B: It was like, I don't want to hang out with you because you're like this or you're. [00:24:16] Speaker A: You drop my energy and things like that. Yeah. [00:24:18] Speaker B: And you probably drop your energy. That was such a big blame. Blame onto everyone else. What the is that about? [00:24:24] Speaker A: What was that? Ego. [00:24:25] Speaker B: Literally. Ego. [00:24:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:27] Speaker B: Anyway, why don't you take the show. I don't know where I was going. [00:24:29] Speaker A: No, I think it's like, good because we had very different experiences. Whereas yours felt like more like you were willing to let the friendship fade and things like that. And like the people in your life weren't actually doing anything. They were just a little bit different. Yeah. [00:24:42] Speaker B: And just like going through different things. [00:24:44] Speaker A: Just going through different things. Whereas me, you experienced. I had a more of a. Would you say harsher. Yeah, more harsher experience where I. I had a really good experience, obviously, with Shule. Like, like, you know what, in saying that, like this polarity. Right. Because I did have a really good experience where actually our friendship grew. Yeah. And my relationship with Anthony grew. Although again, we've gone through so much and we are revolving and you guys. [00:25:10] Speaker B: Have to do a lot of work as well. [00:25:11] Speaker A: We still are. Like, we still. Yeah, we still are. [00:25:14] Speaker B: As we all are. [00:25:15] Speaker A: Yeah, we all are. We're still going through that. But for me, I was more going through lessons and like, well, going through revealing of like the type of people I had in my life because mine wasn't really so much a situation of, you know, people just had different opinions. Like, I actually had friendships that weren't very nice. [00:25:35] Speaker B: Pretty gross people. [00:25:36] Speaker A: Yeah. Pretty shitty friends. And like, I was never put first. Just even like, comments about what I did. Yeah. And like, if we're being truthful, I just, I don't. I didn't have a lot of support in my life. [00:25:48] Speaker B: Like, I get like, deep, like, tell. Can you, can you be a bit more specific? [00:25:52] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't want to say, like, names or anything like that. Yeah. Yeah. I did have like a. The, The, The. The hardest thing. I, I did have friendships that Fell off for sure. And I did have like a really like close group when I used to do work at my old job. I had what the hardest thing. I'm not crying what the hardest thing is. I think my friendships fell off because people thought I was weird and different. Yes, that's what it was. That's been the hardest thing. [00:26:20] Speaker B: Do you have like examples of what. [00:26:22] Speaker A: Was like said to you? Yeah, so I remember like comments like, you know, really careful. But I, I did get comments like, oh, if you know, why do I not have like two Instagram accounts? Because like what I'm saying is really annoying. And like people that are already in my life, they don't want to fucking. [00:26:39] Speaker B: Hear what I have to say. [00:26:40] Speaker A: Like comments like that. And then I would very much. I. It's not. There were comments to my face and like I would be in group settings even like with family and things like that. And like there was smart ass comments made about me and like what I was doing, which made it my resilient. Like I had to. That really tested my resilience. But I also just had more that the hurt really came from like there were comments to my face. But I just knew that maybe like 90 of the people in my life would be saying something behind my back, which is pretty. [00:27:08] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:27:09] Speaker A: Including like family and stuff like that. Like 100. They're thinking I'm weird. Like, what the am I doing? And like, look, I can look back at that and go, not so much now. Actually the more I've like grounded myself, the more. And I did have like, like cousins and stuff who really like asked me about it and like, like, you know what I mean? Even though it's a little bit different, they do. So that was beautiful. But I did have like a group of friends from like my old job and there was like a couple that I was like really close with. I. The minute I got into this space, I. I felt the distance and I felt them thinking I was with the judgment. Yeah, the judgment. [00:27:44] Speaker B: You really did get a lot of judgment. [00:27:45] Speaker A: A lot, a lot of projection and judgment and. But yeah, so that was like really, like really, really tough to navigate. So I got those like sort of comments and like when you're already so vul. Yeah, when you're already like, and this is something. Putting yourself out, putting yourself out there, doing something a little bit different. Like yeah, there was such a long period of time where I could not go without posting, without thinking, like, what the am I saying? I would block people from like a list of people I Reckon I used to have like 12, 13 people that I know were gonna judge me, but I didn't want to, like, face that. Like, I would feel so uncomfortable just being myself and I would block. [00:28:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:20] Speaker A: And I would. It is, it is. Yeah. So that was like really tough. So I feel like, yeah, I would have like a lot of like smart ass comments and things like that. But I also simultaneously know that there's people that have that experience and they don't actually have anyone else. Yeah. Which can be really, really tough. But it's like I felt like when I was going through this, I felt like I was getting punished so hard from the universe. I was like, you excuse my language. I remember being like. Like, no, because it was this thing of like, who are you going to allow in your life? What are you actually going like? That's what I was going through. It was like, what are you willing to put up with? And I was like, you, this is everyone. [00:29:02] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's the thing. It was everyone for you. And they were like actual, like, not only were you getting mistreated in that way and getting judged, because I'm just thinking now I'm like relating back to like my friend group and I'm like, I actually didn't get any. [00:29:16] Speaker A: No, you did. [00:29:17] Speaker B: Everyone was so supportive. Everyone was like, I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy for you. I'm so happy, happy you found yourself. [00:29:22] Speaker A: But that's because of the standard of people you had in your life. And like, I wasn't really that person that had a lot of like, high standards for myself and who now. [00:29:30] Speaker B: Oh my God. I think that was clear in the people that we allowed in. [00:29:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:33] Speaker B: Because. And like, again, like, take this back to the energy in which we're talking about. Like, what did I say? I said I was afraid. I wasn't afraid to lose people. I wasn't afraid for friendships to grow and evolve. Whereas for you there was. There has been an aspect of like holding on to. [00:29:48] Speaker A: Yeah. Holding on because I. And I think as well, like, when you have low self worth, you kind of do a little bit like, you hold on to or like you justify people's behaviors or. And I also, like, was navigating this period of time, like, is it me? Am I like, am I the problem? And like, things like that. [00:30:03] Speaker B: And I think that's the thing. Like you. That one of Nadia's biggest things that we always had to work through was like, she'd always be like, I'm the problem. [00:30:10] Speaker A: Yeah, I have something's wrong with me. And it still comes up sometimes, like, that I'm just like, actually, it was so funny because we were out on Saturday. Oh, no. Friday night. And, like, that's something the girls were actually saying. Like, you know, we're just talking about, like, friendships and things like that. And a lot of them have gone through some hard times, as you do. Like, they, like, heading into their later twenties. And then we're just like, yeah. One of the girls was just saying, like, sometimes I wonder if I'm the problem. But, like, it does. Right. Like, it's like. But I just had such a low. That that was my biggest lesson through that. Like, it was one of the biggest things aside from money. My biggest thing was, like, who the hell are you going to welcome into your life? Because if I look back now to the peace I have and who I would welcome in and the quality of people, it is very, very different. Yeah. And, like, it's like, it was hard, but I feel so much more at peace. And I'm, like, grateful that I went through that. Yeah. And I would never, ever, ever, ever, ever drop my standard ever, ever, ever again. [00:31:05] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, you definitely learned the lesson, that's for sure. But, like, just to give you specifics on the, like, what we mean by the quality of person. She had no life. Like, she would realize, like, once you're having a spiritual awakening and you're, like, more aware of the people around, you should meet up with certain friends. And then she'd realize that they were, like, talking about themselves. [00:31:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:26] Speaker B: Like, not once have they asked a question. [00:31:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:28] Speaker B: And she's like, what the. [00:31:29] Speaker A: I actually felt like I had a lot of projection of Inside. Not so much. I just feel like I look back and I was like, oh, I can see what that was. There was a bit of jealousy in some aspects, like with a couple. Yeah. That I look back at. [00:31:43] Speaker B: I see that. [00:31:45] Speaker A: Yeah. There was just instances and I think, like, a lot of. I honestly just feel like not being just treated properly. Like, not being actually chosen by the person. Like, I would put in so much effort and, like, when I was there, I would care and ask and, like, actually care, whereas I felt not. I didn't really get that back. [00:32:03] Speaker B: No. You didn't get the same effort that you put in. [00:32:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:06] Speaker A: But it's been a big lesson in not one attaching to people, but mostly, like, who would I be willing to, like, welcome into my life. Yeah. So. [00:32:15] Speaker B: So you kind of lost everyone. [00:32:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I did. [00:32:18] Speaker B: Like, literally everyone. [00:32:19] Speaker A: Yeah. I literally did. Well, I Wouldn't say everyone. [00:32:22] Speaker B: Most people. [00:32:23] Speaker A: I feel most like a big chunk. [00:32:25] Speaker B: Of your friendship group. [00:32:27] Speaker A: Yeah. How did I deal with it? [00:32:29] Speaker B: You're like, I did. No, I feel like I did. [00:32:33] Speaker A: I did. I really, really did. I think for the first time, I actually felt peace. I'm not going to lie. It was really refreshing for a period of time. Yeah. So that was that, like, it was, like, really tough because it was, like, refreshing to have that piece. And then I was like. I feel like I was getting such a standard for myself that it was, like, as a polarity, I was, like, upset about, like, having to lose these friendships. But then also I feel like I was, for the first time, getting peace in my life, and our friendship was growing and things like that. But along the lines of that, I realized how much I had closed my heart off. So there were so many things I've had to navigate through that because it was like, I was, like, happy, because I was like, I'm peaceful now. I know the people that are in life. But I didn't realize for so, like, for a good year and a half, I was, like, so scared to open up anyone, make any other friends. I was just like, Yeah. I was like. I closed my heart off. [00:33:26] Speaker B: I get that. Yeah, you did. [00:33:28] Speaker A: You did. Yeah. Yeah. It can happen. Like, you literally. Yeah. You just close your heart off a little. Yeah. [00:33:34] Speaker B: When you've been jaded, it just feels like a. [00:33:37] Speaker A: And I think, like, something I learned along the lines is, like. I think, like, even in high school, I had a pretty, like, big friendship group, and now it's just like, as you get older, you realize it's less about how many you have and, like, the quality of friends you have. But simultaneously, like, as I'm saying this, I feel it's like, that's true, but I don't want to close off my heart at the same time. Do you know what I mean? Like, I think I got traumatized from girls and being, like, close and, you know, bitching and all of that. Like, I've been so scared to, like. I feel like. It just feels like through this, I got really comfortable in my own safe space. Yeah. And I'm just like, yeah, well, you. [00:34:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Were a part of a lot of friendships. Like, even in high school, like, they would. [00:34:20] Speaker A: A lot of girls. [00:34:21] Speaker B: A lot of girls. But, like, a lot of dis. Genuine friendships. [00:34:24] Speaker A: Yeah, a lot of dis. I've had a lot of dis. Genuine friendships. [00:34:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:28] Speaker A: So with that has come with a lot of healing. [00:34:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:32] Speaker A: And trusting again. So it's like you go through that period of like. Like, that's what it was. It was like you. You learn your standard, you cut those people off, and it's like, it's hard, but then you're just like, it's going to be for the better. Like, that's what I always. And I felt that, like, I can't say that. Like, I was like. It was like. I don't know. Do you hear what I'm saying? It's like, it was hard to let go of, like, so many people. But then also it was the. [00:34:56] Speaker B: I know exactly what you mean. [00:34:57] Speaker A: You don't have to go to a friendship and have drama and feel like you don't want to see the person or. [00:35:03] Speaker B: I hated that. [00:35:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:04] Speaker B: That. [00:35:04] Speaker A: That's the feeling I would always have. Like, I catch up and I don't actually want to. Yeah. Like, I don't want to do that. And it was so forced. That's what it felt like, that I. That feeling was very euphoric to me, just feeling like, that freedom. Well, the people. I would. I would feel good. I'd be happy to do that. And then just to feel, like, so. [00:35:23] Speaker B: Safe in your relationships. [00:35:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:25] Speaker B: Right. [00:35:25] Speaker A: Feel safe. That's why I never had that feeling. Yeah. Of safety in my relationships. [00:35:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:31] Speaker A: So now on this journey for me, it's looking like a lot of, like, opening up my heart, welcoming people in, whilst obviously honoring, like, the standard of people and things like that. Yeah. [00:35:43] Speaker B: And I think that comes with, like, a fine line. [00:35:45] Speaker A: Right. [00:35:46] Speaker B: So something we were saying earlier is like, what I was saying where I was putting myself on a pedestal and looking at people like they were lack. And like, you know, they were limiting and they're going to affect me and my level of consciousness and where I'm going and what I'm here to create. But I've completely shifted that now and I don't do that anymore. I'm just like, if somebody isn't speaking my language, like, if they're a good person and I love them. [00:36:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:12] Speaker B: I'm just like. Like, I'm just gonna wish them love their own life. Exactly. And I'm gonna raise the standard of, like, that doesn't mean I, like, allow, you know, for poor standards of. No, no, no conversations. I'm always raising the standard of conversations. But I, like, that's my responsibility to do. [00:36:28] Speaker A: Right. [00:36:28] Speaker B: I'm gonna put that shit onto them. And like, I don't know. It's also this, like, willingness to allow friendships to change and evolve and to not have to cling on. I feel like that that helps. It really does. It does. And it does. I think it just allows the friendship to be what it needs to be. Like, I'm really not clinging in my friendships. [00:36:48] Speaker A: I'm just like, just me. I just trust. [00:36:50] Speaker B: Literally. No, I just trust. I'm like, I trust where the friendship goes. I trust 100%. [00:36:55] Speaker A: It was actually funny because it was at a birthday a couple weeks ago, and this was literally a conversation that one of the girls was saying. I've never kind of care if it goes like, if you don't want, you're not in my life, Whatever. [00:37:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:07] Speaker A: And I think there can be like a bit of a. Like, you've got to put in effort with your friendships and things like that. So it goes both ways. But yeah, it was like, she was just literally, like, she was saying that she doesn't talk to her maid of honor and stuff like that. Like, they had a falling out. Well, whatever. And she was just like, I don't really care. But I'm like, it can. [00:37:23] Speaker B: There's a fine line. [00:37:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:25] Speaker B: It's like not closing your heart off to people. [00:37:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:27] Speaker B: But I think that's the biggest thing when it comes to friendships and spiritual awakenings. I think it's the judgment. [00:37:32] Speaker A: The judgment and the attachment. Because I think people hold on for way too long sometimes. Because that's like, that's the two things you're always going to navigate. Right. When are you holding on to something? And this is a normal. Like, even in a romantic relationship, when are you holding on to something that needs to be let go of versus when are you actually contributing to the issues or the way you actually feel in the relationship? So they're going to be too. Yeah. [00:37:54] Speaker B: Like, what are you projecting onto the person? I know, for example, with, you know, we were talking about romantic partnerships and, like, how much we projected onto that relationship of, like, you know, I don't know, fantasizing about somebody who was more woke and blah, blah, blah. And like, just taking responsibility to be like, okay, like, this isn't coming from a genuine place. This is coming from fear and my own insecurities and my own. So it doesn't mean that you can't do that. It's like, just take, like, do your part first. Stop the judgment, stop the pedestaling, Stop that. All of that. [00:38:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:29] Speaker B: Heal. Stop projecting that onto the people around you and then see how the relate. Like, the relationships evolve. See how they change and then go from there. When you're in your power, then you get, like, clear guidance on making a decision that's actually in your highest alignment. And every single time I've done that in my relationships and I've like been like, okay, no, I'm the problem here for judging. [00:38:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:48] Speaker B: And for pedestaling and all of the things I see that the relationship does evolve like people do. [00:38:54] Speaker A: Yeah, they do. Of course. [00:38:55] Speaker B: They shift. They meet your standard, they like, they, they see your perspectives, they rise. Like it happens all the time. And I'm like, wow, we just. You don't realize how much of a part to play you have. [00:39:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:08] Speaker B: What was that? [00:39:09] Speaker A: English? [00:39:09] Speaker B: That was English, but you know what I mean. [00:39:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:13] Speaker B: It's like the biggest thing, I think there's just so much projection from spiritual people onto people who are not spiritual. [00:39:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:19] Speaker B: And like society and blah, blah. But like, you know, we've done an episode, we've speak about this all the time. But it's like the energy you do something from is what you're creating. So that judgment frequency just adds to more separation and more lack and more limitation. [00:39:34] Speaker A: Yeah. I want to go back to something that I was talking about. [00:39:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:38] Speaker A: Because I do want to talk about this. And I think like when I was going through like, because it was like what was the toughest, toughest thing that I felt like during that period of time. I think like the biggest thing when I was like my. The kind of wasn't like a big cut off but like that most of them I kind of decided no more effort type of thing. And that's what it was. I think for me, like what was coming up the most was like I did go through a period of like, am I the problem? And I had, have. I think like when I look back to like even in high school and things like that, a lot of the time I don't feel like I was very much like because I had low self worth, I would attract people that didn't respect me. But I felt like I was never chosen. And that like really manifested as I got older this thing of like, I something's wrong with me, people don't like me, I'm not chosen. Do you know what I mean? So like when I was going through that. And that can happen in friendship where you feel like, you know, you're an outsider or you're a bit different or you're in a. It can happen when you're in a big group. I think there can be a lot of those feelings coming up. So it's like that was like a really tough thing to have to work through and it can come up now where it's like, something is wrong with me. And so if you are going through that, where it's like, you know, you don't have the best friendships and you're not chosen, I just want you to know that, like, it is a reflection on your. Yourself and there is always going to be people that care about you, love you, and there is better out there for you. There are. There are people that would kill to be with you up to. To like, to be your friend and to have your love and support. And like, that was the biggest thing is like, I'm actually a really good person. I. I'm actually like a very, Like, I am a good friend and I am a caring person and I would go above and beyond. Like, I've been in a relationship with Anthony for like 12 years, and you've been a long time. Not once have I gone through a period where it's like, I chose my boyfriend and I didn't give a fuck about my friends. And like, that's fine. Sometimes you go through that when you're. When you first get with someone. But I have always been that person that doesn't just care about, like, my partner. Like, I actually care about the people in my life. So if you are going through something like that, just know, hold a higher standard for yourself because there are definitely people out there that care about you and want to be you for, like. Want to be in your life for who you really are as like, your authentic self. [00:42:00] Speaker B: So do you have, like, any advice on holding the standard when it feels like you aren't, like, you just aren't meeting anyone? [00:42:09] Speaker A: I think you have to feel when you're not meeting anyone. [00:42:13] Speaker B: You know what I mean? Like, you know how even like, I think a while ago kind of this happened to you where you were just like. I just feel like I don't have, like. [00:42:22] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Like, when you're actually in it. Well, I think that's when the work is right. Right. It's not gonna be like, that's when. That's when I did it, like during those periods where I actually did feel. Feel alone. And some people might not even have anyone. But when you do feel alone, I think, see, this is where it gets hard because I've always had you as well. But in saying that, putting that aside. [00:42:43] Speaker B: I feel like you put an effort, though, to meet people. [00:42:48] Speaker A: Not for a long period of time. I got really lazy. Yeah, good, solid two years ago. [00:42:52] Speaker B: But when you were ready. [00:42:53] Speaker A: When I was ready, I put in effort. I absolutely put in Effort, like, you. [00:42:56] Speaker B: Put yourself out in. [00:42:57] Speaker A: Oh, right, yeah. And they were like, I would put myself out there, and I did. I actually did meet a lot of people. But then what would happen is, like, I, like, didn't feel, like, a deep connection or it was just like that. So again, that comes back down to this thing. Like, you might go through this period of, like, opening your heart. You meet new people and things like that, but it's like, you have to learn to also detach from that. Like, don't, like, don't make it, like, a thing type of thing. So it was like, I kind of went through that period of, like, I'm gonna open up my heart again. I'm gonna know my worth, and you welcome these people in, and some people are gonna be for you and some are not. And, like, it's just going through life and just being willing to meet people and just, like, what you've been saying this whole time doing that. But, like, if you ask if you are going through this, a period where you. You feel like, am I the problem? Or you're, like, healing from this and you don't have anyone in your life or whatever that looks like for you, you have to be able to feel those feelings of feeling like it's. Something's wrong with you, because there's no way through it. Like, if I didn't actually feel my feelings and feel those emotions and move through them properly, I wouldn't be. Wouldn't have the confidence I have within myself. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. [00:44:02] Speaker B: It's almost. You just have to let go of that part of you. [00:44:04] Speaker A: Yeah, I had. [00:44:06] Speaker B: Of the story, let. [00:44:07] Speaker A: Being willing to let go of the story. Being willing to let go of ego aspects of, like, needing a lot of people in your life as well. Yeah. Like, that was like. I guess that was all I was familiar with. Even, like, growing up in, like, a woman dog household. Like, I have a big family. I had a lot of people always. So it was like. Like there was layers to it. Like, letting go of all of that. [00:44:28] Speaker B: Yeah, Yeah, I. Yeah, I completely agree. I think that's true. That's, like, the best advice. If there's this, like, need for, like, people, then it's like, okay, where is that coming from? And can I. Can I. Can I be willing? [00:44:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:43] Speaker B: And let this go? [00:44:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:45] Speaker B: And. [00:44:45] Speaker A: Well, I feel like for me, it was like. It was like I was trying. There was an aspect of me that always before my spiritual awakening especially, but needed people to make me feel a certain way. That's what it was. Yeah. [00:44:59] Speaker B: Make you feel chosen. [00:45:00] Speaker A: Chosen. [00:45:00] Speaker B: Make you feel special. [00:45:01] Speaker A: I had to go through that journey of feeling like I'm chosen for myself. [00:45:04] Speaker B: Choosing yourself. [00:45:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:06] Speaker B: I think that was a good journey. [00:45:08] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think, like, it kind of reminds me of like, I've never really gone through a serious breakup. Yeah. But that's. And I'm not going to say that I can compare, but it does feel like that. It feels like you go through a breakup and you go through the. The waves and the emotions and then you're ready to kind of like date again. And it's kind of. [00:45:25] Speaker B: It's true. It's similar. [00:45:27] Speaker A: It is, but I. And then you learn to open up your heart again. So when people feel like they're closed off to relationships and, like, there's just so much hurt there. I get it. Yeah. Like, I get it. I get it. But like, the most beautiful thing is being willing to just. Just not need anyone. So be so grateful in the people you have in your life and simultaneously be open to that non attached. There is so many aspects, like, think about that. Like, you have to be willing. Like, this journey is crazy. Like, you have to be willing to open up your heart, let go of the trauma, let go of the hurt. Know that you're worth beautiful people, but simultaneously don't be attached to them and let things fold, unfold, unfold how they need to. So it's like a. [00:46:08] Speaker B: It's true. [00:46:09] Speaker A: So. So deep. [00:46:10] Speaker B: It is so deep. But it's so freeing to live your life like that. [00:46:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:16] Speaker B: Like from an open heart. [00:46:18] Speaker A: I also think, like something that helped me. So for a period of time, I wasn't letting go of a lot of the friendships. Like, even when I was in the spiritual world, I would still like, entertain them, hang out, do those things. And someone. I think it was manifestation. Babe. I would listen to her and she had a lot of codes on, like, what she went through. She went through a lot. She didn't have a part. She actually went through it by herself, like, fully. That was someone who fully turned their life around with no one. She didn't even know Brennan at that time. And I remember listening to her and I listened to very people that would inspire me. And I remember, like, because she was just like, I'm gonna. Like, she left her partner, all of it. Right. And I remember thinking, like, if this girl can go through that, I'm not putting up with the. That I'm putting up with him. Like, it was like, like when your standards being reflected to you. Yeah, that was a big driving factor, so that helped at the time. What the. [00:47:07] Speaker B: Am I doing? [00:47:07] Speaker A: Yeah, having. What am I doing? Why am I putting up with this? [00:47:10] Speaker B: Having anchor points is so valuable. [00:47:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:12] Speaker B: So people that create like podcasts and like that on this, like, if you're feeling called to create a platform because you have something important to share, like, just share it, Share it. Because you get up on TikTok, you literally end up being such an anchor for people and such a motivator for people to create change in their lives. Lives. [00:47:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:30] Speaker B: Like, people need you. [00:47:31] Speaker A: Yeah. And I was just like, I remember listening to her and I. I think I had an epiphany one day when I was listening to her and I was like, I. I'll lose it all. I don't care. I don't care. I need to be happy and I need to, like, I'll start my. I'll go like that. [00:47:45] Speaker B: That was the epiphany I had. I was like, I'm willing to lose it all. Yeah, you kind of have to be. Yeah, you have to be willing to lose it literally. [00:47:52] Speaker A: Like those people that like, pick up their life and go overseas and just start from scratch. [00:47:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:57] Speaker A: That's like really an extreme situation. [00:48:00] Speaker B: But like. [00:48:01] Speaker A: But willing to actually do what's. Because it was what was good for me. Like, that's the thing. Like letting go of these friendships and learning to be not attached and needing all these people in my life and. And just learning what it is to have good people in my life. Even if that meant for. For a period of time or how honestly. Do you know what it felt like? It felt like, I don't care if I have no one ever. I would rather be alone than. And have shitty people. [00:48:28] Speaker B: I agree. [00:48:29] Speaker A: That's what it felt like. [00:48:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:30] Speaker A: I would rather not be in a toxic relationship and I'd rather be alone than be in a shitty one. And that's what I'll say to my hands on my heart till I die. [00:48:37] Speaker B: Yeah, it's true. [00:48:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:39] Speaker B: Amen to that, sis. But I reckon that's everything. [00:48:42] Speaker A: That's everything. Yeah. That was a little bit of a heart to heart. So you know a little bit about our journey and what we've navigated. [00:48:47] Speaker B: Yeah. And sending you love. If you're currently navigating a similar situation, you've got this. [00:48:54] Speaker A: Yeah. Sending you love. [00:48:55] Speaker B: It does look normal. Yeah. You do end up attracting, like, now we have such beautiful friendships. [00:49:01] Speaker A: I feel like I'm still on my journey of, like, opening up my heart and things like that. I feel Like, I went through a period where I did, and then I closed it off again. Because what would happen is I'd meet people and then I'd. I don't know. Like, I just felt I was attached. Do you know what I mean? [00:49:18] Speaker B: Like, I just. Like, I could give you an example. I remember there was, like, one new person I met, and I, like, you know, I'd met her and I was like, yeah, like, it was nice, but, like, you know, I didn't know if we were gonna 1000% vibe and, like, stay in contact. And I was cool with that. I was like, yeah, no worries. Whereas when you, like, did that with somebody else, you were like, yeah, I just. It didn't work out. It wasn't what I thought. And, like, then you were, like, got anxious about that. Like, what's the point? [00:49:44] Speaker A: Because I also was. I also was navigating, like, feeling like, is. Am I something? Yeah. Like, am I the problem? So it was like, is it me that just didn't feel connected? Or am I. Am I like, to. Am I like, I honestly felt like. Do you know what it felt like for me? It felt like maybe I am just unscared because I'm unfamiliar and, like, that's the problem. Like, I just need to get more familiar. But now I'm a lot more confident with that. I'm like, if I don't. I know because I've met, like, people that I actually connect with, and I have things to compare to that. I feel like I know now when I'm just, like, not fully vibing with someone. And also, like, understanding, like, every friendship's different. Yeah. Yeah. [00:50:22] Speaker B: I think that's another thing, like, understanding that, like, you have a. Like, I don't know, every fresh is going to give you something different 100 and, like, not needing them to be everything. [00:50:30] Speaker A: Yeah. And I didn't have that. Like, that's what I very much felt like. I would want all my friendships to be, like, the same. Yeah, I really did. Yeah. It was like, I need. [00:50:39] Speaker B: It's like, you. You expected, like, this quality. Yeah. [00:50:42] Speaker A: Every. Every single person. And that was, like, a big lesson because I'm just like, you don't have to have that. [00:50:47] Speaker B: Yeah. But, yeah, we're still on the journey. We're still going through the motion. [00:50:52] Speaker A: Yeah, we are. But honestly, love it. Yeah. [00:50:55] Speaker B: I think it's something that so many people go, like, friendship changes, and maybe people don't talk about it as much because, you know, people don't take friendships as seriously as relationships, but they're so important. [00:51:06] Speaker A: Yeah. I think everyone has different experiences. I think some people like they have friendships from like childhood and they're beautiful and they grow together. Yeah. And then sometimes you have friendships. Some people just. I don't know, like they. You go through a lot. But I do feel like I'd say 90 of people anyway from what I can see and what I've think go. It makes sense. Like you evolve and change as people like that. You have, you know, your friendships change and the dynamic changes and things like that. [00:51:35] Speaker B: They do. [00:51:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:36] Speaker B: So we'll leave it there, I reckon. I reckon. [00:51:38] Speaker A: Anyway, yeah, we'll see you in the next episode. Hope you liked this episode. Gave you some comfort. And just know you can always talk to us. [00:51:45] Speaker B: Yes. And don't forget to comment. [00:51:48] Speaker A: Don't forget to comment like and subscribe. [00:51:50] Speaker B: We're still cooked, dude. Yeah, look, I'm that I need to eat now. [00:51:55] Speaker A: Don't forget to comment like and subscribe. Let us know how you liked the episode. DM us if you want to chat or you you resonated with it. But we're gonna go and eight see you in the next episode. [00:52:08] Speaker B: Bye.