Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello and welcome back to another episode of the podcast.
[00:00:04] Speaker B: Hello, welcome back. Sorry, I just had this intrusive thought of. I'm like, imagine my tit was out throughout this entire episode. And we didn't know.
[00:00:14] Speaker A: We didn't know because your hair's covering up. You have no idea.
[00:00:17] Speaker B: And I was like, YouTubers would be.
[00:00:18] Speaker A: There for a good time.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: The YouTubers would see. No, that was actually really funny. It's just an intrusive thought. As soon as we press record. Anyway, how are you, doll? Good.
[00:00:28] Speaker A: How's your week been?
[00:00:29] Speaker B: My week's been good. I noticed a little thing that happened, like a little moment. I actually wanted to share it on the podcast. I haven't told you yet because of this, because I thought, like, collectively, I feel like this is a good lesson and something to just, like, be aware of. Right. Because I feel like we do this in, like, many moments of the day where we maybe, like, I'll just explain it and you'll understand. So basically, I was at yoga and I had this, like, really pretty yog set on from Indigo Luna. It's gorgeous. It's in this, like, forest green color.
[00:01:02] Speaker A: Stunning.
[00:01:03] Speaker B: It's stunning.
[00:01:04] Speaker A: By the way, Sheila has got the same set, different pants, but like the same place, same set type of vibe.
And she has bleach stains on them.
[00:01:13] Speaker B: No, I'm wearing them right now. So they were actually. They're in the YouTube video. So if you're seeing the video, it's actually up. Like, it has my mum. I hadn't. Okay, let's talk about this.
[00:01:23] Speaker A: Wait, wait, hold on. You and I are a different vibe. Like, I'm in leggings.
[00:01:26] Speaker B: We are. Completely different aesthetics. Yeah, we really are, but similar at the same time.
[00:01:30] Speaker A: But I do wear flare pants. But you're like, you really. But I do different things. Like, I exercise in a different way. Like, I can't exercise the way I need leggings and things like that.
[00:01:39] Speaker B: You couldn't exercise.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: But I think they suit my body more than the flare pants. I don't know, maybe I should try.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: I think the flare pants look good on you.
[00:01:44] Speaker A: I think I. I do have both.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Yeah, I have both.
[00:01:46] Speaker A: I don't just wear leggings.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: But anyway, going back to my botched yoga pants right now. But they. They were my favorite. There was the first pair I ever brought from Bali when I went last year with and my sister, and they had this tiniest, tiniest little oil stain on it. And I was like, you know what? My mum can get anything out. So I was like, she may as well do it, you know, it was so tiny. It was so insignificant. Anyway, these are like hydrophobic pants. Is that what they're called? Hydrophobic? Where they repel water. Right. So they have this, like, particular finish on them that's different. Anyway, she had it sitting. Sitting in water, poor thing. And they just completely, completely went discolored anyway. And I am in denial. I wear them everywhere. I wear them to the shops. I wear them to yoga classes still. And they are fully botched. Like, they have bleach stains all over them. That's what they look like.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: Yeah. And I bought her a voucher for Christmas. So when you get the chance to. Because the place is like an hour and a bit away.
[00:02:42] Speaker B: No, I love your passive aggressive buying me clothes or sending me links to shops of, like, things I need to buy. Because Nadia's like, like, my problem. Okay, we have a problem. So my problem is I wear things to the point of disgusting. Like, that is no longer wearable anymore. Like, your shoes have holes in them. Replace them. She's just.
[00:03:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: And you and I. And it's because I hate doing, like, tasks.
[00:03:07] Speaker A: It's the task. It's not that she doesn't want to spend the money. It's like she just. It's like buying it online or having to go to the shop. She's just really, like, hate it will not lazy in that sense.
[00:03:18] Speaker B: Yeah. So lazy in that.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: Now I get it. Because it's like, it's not even that. It's just like, when tasks that you just absolutely hate doing, like, there's just no way. No, I get it.
[00:03:26] Speaker B: And then Nadia's problem was just buying things that she doesn't wear. And then she'd pull out a new outfit every day. And me and her partner are like, I've never seen that before. And she's like, I've had it for years. And I'm like, what's going on? So that's with different vibes. Anyway. So, yeah, I walk around with these fucking yoga set, this yoga pants on, and it's just not right. But anyway, I'm gonna buy the new set. You bought me a voucher. I get the message. I'm gonna buy the new set.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: Don't worry.
[00:03:52] Speaker B: I'm just gonna try them on first and see black. I'm gonna get a different color, I reckon. Yeah. Well, I was actually thinking of this color because I really love this.
[00:04:00] Speaker A: Yeah, you do. I even like these colors. I think they are nice.
[00:04:03] Speaker B: They're really nice. I don't know and like I really can't wear this anymore.
[00:04:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:06] Speaker B: But anyway, we're gonna. That's a different story. I'm at yoga, right? Going back to the story, I'm at yoga. I'm in the back room and this girl comes up to me and she compliments the yoga set I was wearing. And she's like, this is really pretty. She's like, where'd you get it from? And I was like, thank you. I'm like, aren't they the nicest? It was from Indigo Luna and she was like, oh, Indigo Luna. She's like, yeah, they're too expensive for me. Like I've tried to look into their stuff but I can't afford it. And then I just felt this like feeling of like, oh, I don't want to make her feel bad. Right. So like it was like not conscious and it happened so quickly and I reacted so fast. But it was just something I was reflecting on. I was like, oh, like these are the moments we need to like really catch ourselves in. But it's like automatically I wanted to like, you know, not make her feel bad and like, like make her feel like she could relate to me. I don't even.
[00:04:53] Speaker A: Yeah, it's kind of like it's like when you're in that uncomfortable.
The ego's uncomfortable. It's like it's just. It feels a lot more safer to then it's not like it's. It's just easier and safer to just like just validate their beliefs. And it's like it's not in those moments that you have to go and give someone ear bashing or complete random or. Yeah.
[00:05:13] Speaker B: Abundance and things like that.
[00:05:15] Speaker A: Just because like you know, you see the world like that. But it is about like you don't need to also respond in a way that's like kind of feeding your subconscious mind and validating those conversations. And there's like a way to go around it without like interrogating the person and being like blah, blah, blah and projecting your beliefs. But then also just like not also like feeding theirs.
[00:05:34] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Right. It wasn't about her. It was more about like my response to her that I was wanting to pay attention to because I was like this is like that. That it's that stuff that I don't want to like do.
[00:05:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:45] Speaker B: So like what I said to her after she had said that was oh, like they were a gift. Because they were a gift. They were a gift from my mum. So I was like for my birthday and I was like, oh, you know I got the. Oh, Christmas. Sorry. I was like, I got them for Christmas. Like, don't, you know, like, I didn't buy them with that money. And I was just like. Like, walked away from that interaction. And then I was reflecting on that. I was like, wow. I was like, it's these little ways in which, like, I've lowered, like, you know, a standard of mine. Because I was like, no, I see things through the lens of abundance and things like that. And I want to, like, really, I want to give that in every interaction that I have with someone. You know what I mean? Like, absolutely. Not that I'm judging that she's not.
[00:06:23] Speaker A: No, it's not about judging, but it's.
[00:06:24] Speaker B: Like, just about, like, holding a standard. And through me holding a standard in that conversation, I wonder if she could have reflected on that for herself and be like, oh, why don't I think that I'm worth something? Like.
[00:06:34] Speaker A: Yeah.
And I think that this is, like, a good conversation because I noticed or notice that can happen a lot in, like, group settings when, like, for me, just say people have a particular opinion and a way of being or whatever. It's like that discomfort of, like, being in a group with people that maybe don't see the world the way that you do or, you know, are into personal development the way that you are and the way you're training your mind to be. It's like, in those moments, it's like, it's really powerful to not entertain something that you don't really want to hold within yourself with no judgment. And that's, like, so funny. Leading into the conversation. I know that with no judgment or anything like that. And it's like, I think that is where a lot of the work can be done, where people can learn to be able to be in circumstances with people that don't see the world their way. But, like, also hold them up and.
[00:07:26] Speaker B: Also, like, hold the standard.
[00:07:28] Speaker A: Hold the standard without projecting your values and your beliefs and all that.
[00:07:32] Speaker B: This is such a segue.
[00:07:33] Speaker A: Yeah, it is.
[00:07:34] Speaker B: Into the conversation that we're going to have today around our judgment.
[00:07:39] Speaker A: Yeah, right.
[00:07:40] Speaker B: Because I think since the last part of last year and the start of 2025, there has been so much going down in the world worldwide with, like, women's rights, like, politics. Like, there are so many things that are keeping people in separation.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the best way to describe it. Separation.
Yeah. And I think. Sorry.
[00:08:08] Speaker B: No, no, go on.
[00:08:09] Speaker A: Yeah, so, yeah, I agree. Like, between, you know, the. The recent election, you know, the situation that happened in LA with the fires and stuff like that. When, like, the world is going through a bit of a tough time, it can, as humans, because we have egos, because we have that, it can feel familiar to go into separation and judgment, especially. Especially when you are in situations where there is such a indifference of opinion. And today's episode, we really wanted to highlight kind of talk about judgment and like, where it actually derives on and what's actually going on from, like a personal development, spiritual lens.
[00:08:44] Speaker B: Yeah. It's something that we actually attempted to film, I think, like, right at the start of the election. But we were also going through personal things at the time. So we just basically. The episode didn't go out. So refilming today and we're talking about, like, we're going to talk about judgment as a whole. I think it's a really valuable conversation to have. It can be quite a confronting conversation to have as well. So I urge you to keep an open mind with this and just be willing to, like, look at yourself and see this from a different light. Yeah. Because it's really healing when you can understand the root of judgment, where it comes from, and basically how to move through it in a way where you're actually creating a positive impact in the world around you. Because that's ultimately people's goals. Right. They want to, like, positively impact the world. And that's a lot of the spiritual people. They have such like, belief, like big beliefs, radical beliefs in like, you know, good versus evil and what's right to do and what's not, what's wrong to do. But the way in which I see so many people going about trying to get this message heard is actually adding to the fire, Adding fuel to the fire rather than dousing the fire, rather than actually promoting change.
[00:10:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Which this is going to make sense once we dive into it.
[00:10:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:08] Speaker B: Do you want to just kick things off?
[00:10:09] Speaker A: No, I. I am so excited for this episode. I'm more than happy to kick this off. But I. Judgment and like, ego judgment, projections are something that is really close to my heart because I feel the last few years having, like, my spiritual awakening and personal development. This has been something I continuously always work on. And the more I've worked on it, I don't know about you, the more I'm like, I understand this more than I ever have. Like, I fully know. It's like I can. It's like I understand what the ego is doing in moments of judgment, projection, all of that.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: I completely agree.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And I just want to start with, like, just Even talking about judgment and like, what it is from an ego perspective. Because it's like, we know what judgment is, obviously. Yeah. So like from like a very, like, if we talk about it, judgment from the ego. Judgment is purely when we as humans, when we judge other people, what's actually happening is we are projecting where within ourselves. Because judgment is always a mirror where within ourselves we are lacking potentially our standards, our values, or even our beliefs. What is actually happening is the ego goes into what it is. It's the ego defending itself in moments in which where things are different or someone's way of doing things, someone's belief is different from ours. The ego likes to protect itself and wants to be right. It's all very centered around I, I, I. And when we are in judgment, that is exactly what the ego thrives in.
[00:11:41] Speaker B: I want to highlight what you said there, which was like that defense piece. It's the ego protecting itself when it's judging other people. And it's this like, bid to make yourself feel this sense of like, justification in your values. So it could actually indicate also just to like add to this piece where you don't fully back something or belief, believe something. So to like, give you an example of what I mean here. Because we used to do this to my boyfriend, Daniel.
[00:12:14] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:12:15] Speaker B: So Daniel had very different beliefs to Nadia and I. So when Nadia and I were getting into like the spiritual space and we were learning about manifestation and things like that, we were still building our belief around that topic. So we weren't like. It's like, while we felt like it was true, we weren't fully solid in that we had a lot of doubt of, like, you know, is it right? Like, is this completely right, whatever. And that wasn't conscious to us. But the way that this would manifest in our interactions with people is that we would literally put other people down for not having our belief. Right. We weren't nasty, mean people, but it was like a sly in the way that we would do it. So Daniel were very close to us, so we were just very much ourselves with him. So when he would come home from work or whatever and we'd be talking about manifestation, he'd be challenging our beliefs and we'd be like blowing up at him going, you don't know what you're talking about. You have no knowledge on this fact. And we'd be trying to convince him and we'd be judging his perspective. Perspective. And we felt so threatened by his disbelief in manifestation. And it just highlighted where we didn't believe in manifestation ourselves.
[00:13:21] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. It's like the ego is just it. It needs. In those moments when we were. Daniel was reflecting our own project, our own wounds, and we were projecting onto him because we were getting defensive and. Yeah, you're so annoying. Blah, blah, blah. Why don't you just see our, like, kind of just. It wasn't even. Like we said, you have to see our world, but there was this part.
[00:13:40] Speaker B: Of us that was kind of putting him down.
[00:13:41] Speaker A: It's almost. Yeah. We're putting him, like that frustration of someone not seeing your view or, like, the way you see it.
[00:13:47] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:47] Speaker A: Because you should be able to feel neutral about your things, your beliefs and your values if you are solid in them. But so that really came. Came from this place of, like, when you kind of want to believe something or you have this thing or. But there's still a part of your ego that's not fully there yet. And it's like it uses other people and uses validation as a way to, like, soothe itself.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:10] Speaker A: With this uncomfortable, familiar, uncomfortable, familiar feeling of just. It's like, also what was going on for us at that time and why it was so deep for us is because we were teaching in this space and we were still having a little bit of those wounds come up. So, like, that was also a big part of why it was triggering us a lot. Because it's like, you know, there's a lot of.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: It was threatening.
[00:14:30] Speaker A: It was threatening that. And something like. I noticed a lot with judgment is like, there's obviously different.
Judgment comes up in different ways and manifests differently. And, like, sometimes it is because there's a belief within you that you're, like, trying to solidify, or there's something within you that you don't fully come back. And when someone doesn't validate that within you, it can go into defensive mode. And then also, like, something I've really noticed about judgment in those very sly ways is when our own standard is being projected on us. So this is something I was speaking to you about this week where.
[00:15:04] Speaker B: Bring up that. I was like, that's actually a really good example to talk about.
[00:15:07] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's just like, just witnessing what happens when we're just in moments. Right. And these are, like, just really subtle ways that I'm gonna give you an example. And that happen in my life, but they're really important to catch. And they're in moments where judgment comes up where you kind of look at someone else, where, like, the way that they eat is too much, the way that the Rules that they have within their life are too much, right? And this week I noticed there was a part of my ego looking at someone online and they eat really well. Like, they eat so healthy. And I'm talking about, like, don't really eat anything other than, like, that's organic and everything, which is amazing. Like, that's obviously a part of me that values that. And I like to eat healthy, and I do eat healthy majority of the time, but I'm not as.
I guess my standards aren't as high as that. And what happens when our standards are reflected to us? Our ego goes into judgment. So unconsciously, what was happening was like, oh, God, like, just have a bit of a chip, you know, every now and then, or just looking like, oh, my God, it's like having ice cream every now and then, like, it's not the end of the world, right? And it's like even just in small moments being, like, looking at someone, how someone help, how someone runs their business. And, you know, there was something online that I saw as well where someone just said, this is a rule that I have, like, with my social media and, like, not commenting and things like that. And instead of being neutral about that, like, what the ego does is go, like, it will tell you, like, oh, that person's too much. Or like that, jeez, like, calm down. Or like, that's ridiculous. Or just being like, well, I wouldn't do that. Right? And if you hear the words, like, if you actually listen to the voice that plays, it's I, I, I. And that's how you know it's ego. Because what in those moments is happening is your standards. When you're looking at someone like, that eats really healthy and you're just like, that's too much. Or you're looking at someone online like, I would never do that. It's like your own standards of where you're at in life being mirrored, right? And so in that moment, like, there was a part of me that was. It's not. It's not that I was like, when I say triggered, I'm not like, oh, my God, it was fucked up. Like, she, you know, did something to me in that moment. But there was still enough for me to have a response that wasn't neutral. And in those moments, it's just such a reflection of my own standard where I lack in that. And because I can't hold myself in eating the as well as she does, it defends itself.
[00:17:22] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I love that you pointed this out, because with this particular creator, I had found Myself doing that as well and just being like, geez, that's a bit much. Jeez, I wouldn't do that. And it's just that slight little way where the ego just feels the need to defend itself. And something that you said that I really want to point out as well is that the response wasn't like a, oh my God, I'm so triggered. But like, you didn't have a cry and sook about it, but you don't have to have a cry and suck about it for something to still be within your consciousness and actually affecting the way in which you experience the world. Right. It's like these responses were so fcking slight of like a, oh, well, I wouldn't do it. It's like that simple moment, those simple moments, we want to address them because those little moments actually lead to the big.
[00:18:06] Speaker A: They matter.
[00:18:07] Speaker B: They matter, they matter.
[00:18:08] Speaker A: They add up all in your unconscious mind.
[00:18:10] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: And this is like a. This is exactly why, like, using judgment to realize where your mirror is. Right. Because judgment, what you are not neutral within what someone else has done, someone else does in their actions will always be a mirror for yourself in some sort of capacity. Whether it's what we said about before, about Daniel, or your own stance. I do notice a lot of the time it is standard being reflected. And then what happens in those moments is we go on to project. Right. Like, and this is where we can start unconsciously, like, having conflicts with.
Justify ourselves and then going into.
It's just like, so defensive.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Yeah, right. Yeah.
[00:18:51] Speaker A: And this is when we start, like, having like, I guess, tangles in our relationships and like, unable to like, hold someone having a different opinion from us. So.
[00:19:02] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's so true. Like, further getting into this, like, unable to hold somebody else having a different opinion to us. Like, let's talk about this, because this is pretty big in the spiritual space. I really see, like, such a divide. Right, yeah. With like. Because I've been. I feel like I've really been in like, the extreme spaces of people who are like, spiritual and then they're really like, disconnected from society because they. They're annoyed at society and like the patriarchy and the system. Do you know what I mean?
[00:19:31] Speaker A: Yeah. It's like, you know, it kind of reminds me of that meme where it's like, you know, I've healed myself, blah, blah, blah. I don't have triggers anymore. And it's like, do you actually not have triggers or you just like, just completely isolated yourself from society where you don't. You're not faced with your triggers, literally.
[00:19:44] Speaker B: Exactly. No. That's such a good fucking meme. Because it's true. It's like they take themselves out of society because they're so annoyed at everything and they. They hate the system. They hate the man, like, tricks. They hate them. Yeah, they hate it.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:01] Speaker B: And I get it, like, right, There are a lot of up going on. That doesn't help in terms of our development. And, like, we are literally bred into a society that is creating employees.
[00:20:13] Speaker A: Yeah. There's a lot of, you know, things that we're not going to agree with that happened in the world, you know?
[00:20:18] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's like, I totally get it. But the thing is, when we're fighting division or these, like, you know, these systems with judgment and hate, what do you think that does on an energetic level that literally just feeds that energy. Right. It's like feeding that energy back with the energy that it was created from. No wonder why it keeps growing and amplifying. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, so it's like we're not actually healing collective consciousness when we do that. We're not actually making a positive impact if we're fueling spiritual people with hate. Do you know?
[00:20:56] Speaker A: Absolutely. Yeah.
[00:20:56] Speaker B: Do you know what I mean? So it's just like, we're not actually, like, healing that, but something. I want it, like, that was a little tangent there, but that's true because it still relates into, like, what we put out there is what you get in. And when you're, like, judging people, you're literally putting out that energy and you're receiving it back in return. Right. That judgment and that separation and the putting it down, like, you're literally, whatever you put out there, it's. It's coming back to you. But going back to, like, this judgment piece. Right. So it's like, if we go to look at, like, how lots of spiritual people, they want to create positive impact in the world, they want to wake people up. And I get it. You have a mission, Right?
[00:21:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: It's like you're. You're meant to do this for the planet, but the thing is, we're not going to do it fighting other people and on other people's beliefs, even if they differ from yours so drastically. Right. And they feel so wrong to you.
And I want to use Daniel as an example here. Right. So when. And this. And this is the reason why. So the thing is, when we were going to Daniel and we were saying, you. Your beliefs are shit, like, you don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, blah, blah, blah, right. He automatically ego. What does it want to do? It wants to defend itself. So it's like, I need to defend myself. So he doesn't even have the ears to hear us in those moments, right? Because he's like, no, like you. Like, you know, I'm right, you're wrong. And then he's meeting us with that same energy. So he's not even hearing the positive information that would actually improve his life. He went. He's not even receiving that because his ego feels so attacked and it feels the need to defend itself. So he's just meeting us with that energy and there's no resolution. There's nothing actually being hurt.
[00:22:37] Speaker A: Like, you know, and that is the number one thing that goes wrong when people are trying to improve their relationships with their partners. They're trying. Like, this is the number one thing that I can say happens all the time is the energy in which you try to make the change in will always be reflected back to you. It's incredible. And I agree with what you were saying there. It's just like, because the ego is so wrapped up in defending itself, how are you actually going to make change? How are you going to positively influence those in your life? You know what I mean? In a. In a way in which they can not be projected on.
[00:23:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:13] Speaker A: How. How are you going to do that? And that's just really where I see it's true. People approach their relationships so wrong. It's.
[00:23:20] Speaker B: It's a big thing with relationships. And it literally, it's like the person. Because the ego needs to defend itself, it's literally, it can't receive the messages that is being delivered, so it can't actually improve or get better. And I was actually having this conversation with a client. This is one of them, a really big theme, right. She had a lot of, like, she was like, you had this spiritual mindset, had really high standards for herself. And she had like, you know, people in her life where she felt like, you know, their, their standards were really low and that they would go into victim consciousness. And she hated hanging out with them, hated spending time with them. And she was always fighting people, right? Because she was like, oh, they just don't get it. They don't see me, blah, blah, blah.
[00:24:00] Speaker A: I know that feeling very well. It's like, it's almost like it's the belittling energy.
[00:24:05] Speaker B: That's what it is.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: It's like, I. I know it's hard to hear when you're in it and sometimes you feel like, it's coming from a good place. But that really is. That I'm.
[00:24:14] Speaker B: That.
[00:24:15] Speaker A: That this is.
[00:24:15] Speaker B: I'm so important. It's.
[00:24:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm better than you because I think I've got a better mindset. I think I see the world better. This isn't actually true within myself. It really does come back down to.
[00:24:24] Speaker B: No, it fully does. It really, really does. It's just, I'm better than you energy. And we did, like, a lot of, like, work through this and really practiced seeing people in their power even when they were going into victim consciousness, even when, like, they were saying things that really went against her values and, like, not judging them for it, not sending the energy, energy of judgment and criticism, but instead of love and, like, you know, like, seeing their divinity even when they're like that. Because when a human is like that, imagine how you have to feel about yourself in order to say, like, you know, like, for example, I don't even know, like, something morally.
[00:25:03] Speaker A: I'm like, what is about calling someone's appearance out?
[00:25:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Right. Like, you know, bagging somebody's appearance or whatever it is. It's like, imagine how disconnected they have to be from source and love for them to even have that level of consciousness and have to say that and put that out into the world. Right. It says a lot about the person. So it's like, not from a belittling energy, but it's just from this, like, compassion of, like, oh, like, I hope that one day you can, like, you know, love yourself and, like, you know, see your divinity and see the divinity in that next person and something that we spoke about. And I think that because you might be sitting here listening to this and going, okay, well, like, I still don't want to, like, lower my standards to somebody who is, I don't know, like, you know, not aligning with my morals and things like that.
[00:25:45] Speaker A: How do you know when you're in a situation in which it's like, if there's no judgment there, but I potentially want to break away from this.
[00:25:52] Speaker B: Yeah. It's like, I don't want to be in this and. Yeah, exactly.
[00:25:55] Speaker A: Which is going to happen.
[00:25:56] Speaker B: It's going to happen. Yeah. And this is something that we were, like, speaking about. And it's not about you dropping your standard. It's not about you going to that level. And that goes back to what I was saying this morning with that experience with that girl, like, telling me that she liked my yoga set and the money situation. Right. It's not about me like, going to. Her. Going to that level of, like, you know, going into victim consciousness around, like, lack of money and things like that. Not about that, but it's about still maintaining a standard and something this client, like, reflected back to me. And I thought that this was, like, a beautiful lesson in this. In that she was in this experience where, you know, people were reflecting things that she really did not agree with.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: Right.
[00:26:36] Speaker B: And I also didn't agree with when she was telling me. But she didn't judge them. She didn't. She didn't. But she didn't engage. She didn't engage with it. Yeah. But she did not judge them. And she just saw, like, oh, like, like, I'm sending you love. Like the fact that you said that, Like, I'm sending you love. Yeah, sorry. Alpha's getting mad. Alpha's getting really, really angry. And then withholding that standard in that conversation, those people around her, Alpha, those people around her were able to literally reflect in that moment, in that moment, because she wasn't attacking them, so they didn't have to protect their opinion. Right. And then she held them with compassion, but it was very clear that she did not agree. And she's like, you know, and she could say that in that moment, but in this moment she just chose not to. But they automatically corrected what they said and they reflected on what they said. Like, do you know what I mean?
[00:27:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:26] Speaker B: So it's like she didn't. It was just a beautiful moment of her not actually having to do anything but just that energy shift of, like, not judging someone, but also holding a standard, like how that brought that person up. So I do want to make that clear in this conversation as well. It's like, like, it's not that you can't, like, ever defend your peace or, like, say your piece or, you know.
[00:27:46] Speaker A: Relationships where there's moments where they need to be left.
[00:27:48] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. It's like you do those things, but it's like, where are you doing it from? And just having this piece in mind where it's like, okay, I can't fight fire with fire.
[00:28:01] Speaker A: Right.
[00:28:01] Speaker B: It's like I'm. If I'm going into this conversation yelling and judging at this person, understanding ego consciousness, they're not going to even be able to hear me. So there's no point. Right. So it's like, I really take this, like, in my own relationship, I'm really aware of, like, if I'm really activated, there's no way we're going to have a conversation because he's going to get Fiery back to me, I'm going to get fired.
[00:28:22] Speaker A: And also when you're like heated in the moment, like you actually don't know if you're the one that's actually projecting because that's like another big thing that we need to like understand as well is like when judgment comes up or when we are in moments where we're having conflict or in indifference of opinion. Like it's not always, and I know the ego hates to hear this, but like sometimes you are the one that's like fully projecting, you know, majority of.
[00:28:45] Speaker B: The time, most of the time you're the one.
[00:28:46] Speaker A: Well that's what like I want to say about like judgment again is like, you know, it's really one thing to understand like where judgment comes from and what it is and things like that. But like being able to fully see, you know, triggers judgment projections on other people as mirrors and as understanding that like whatever is happening, whatever conflict or whatever is happening, it is a full on mirror. So a lot of the time, a lot of the time it is a projection.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: No, it actually is. It's wild to actually have this level of accountability now. Like as I move through my relationships, as I move through life because I am just seeing how many times particularly in my relationship I've made things his problem when they just aren't his problem. Yeah, yeah, they're a me problem.
[00:29:37] Speaker A: They're your problems. And a lot of it's driving insecurity and your own wounds and it's, it's shadow work on like a. Relationships are like shadow work on steroids when you're doing them because it's like they are your biggest mirror. Like your relationships will always be your biggest mirrors, but the one in which you're with all the time and in especially when you're in a romantic relationship that can bring out some like deep insecurities.
[00:30:00] Speaker B: So yeah, it really can. We actually did an episode on this. Yeah, I think it's called like you're the problem in your relationship. I highly recommend listening.
[00:30:07] Speaker A: It's a great episode.
[00:30:08] Speaker B: It's a good, it's one of my favorites that we've done.
[00:30:11] Speaker A: It's one of my favorites.
But yeah. And like with speaking about judgment or did you have anything else, dad? Yeah, but like with speaking about judgment, one of the like the sexiest qualities that you can have. You know, shadow work I think makes someone like so sexy as a person, like hot being self aware, self accounted, self accountable. That's not even accountable. Yeah, it is, isn't it accountable, you know, to need the self.
[00:30:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:38] Speaker A: Anyway, doing that work is like such a sexy quality. And one of the biggest things that, like, one of the best things you can do to your mindset is being able to be that person in any circumstance that can actually see things from a neutral lens, actually have the ability to look at things from so many angles. Because when you do, like, your relationships are going to thrive. The way in which you no longer feel attacked from people. Like, like, for example, like something that your mentor does that like, triggers you and like, that's wrong. Instead of going into that, being able to catch yourself out, being able to realize that, like, that is probably a projection of my own insecurity. Like, for example, you know, there's a lot of people in this space and I saw a post the other day where, you know, mentors don't follow their clients.
[00:31:25] Speaker B: Right.
[00:31:25] Speaker A: And I'm just using this as an example. Mentors don't follow their clients sometimes. Some mentors don't do that because they don't want to be overwhelmed and with content in their feed. They use their Instagram feed as something they're protective over their mind. Right. For our subconscious mind, you know, and this person was posted on threads, I think it was that they didn't like that, you know, and they actually didn't value that in a coach or whatever. And you can, you can have those opinions. Right? But being able to look at that and understand where that other coach was coming from without going into projection. Like, think about how many times you, like, you. You know, a friend doesn't respond or a client didn't get back to you in time. How quick does the ego want to go and defend itself? So what I'm just basically highlighting is being able to be that person that can break away from the ego and be able to just see things from multiple perspectives and stop making everything about yourself. Because that's what the ego wants. Everything is just. It can be so insecure sometimes that all it wants to do is just make everything mean something about itself. If you can be that person that can be neutral, that can see multiple perspectives and then also be able to hold someone else judging you, someone else having an projecting onto you, I swear to God, like, your relationships will thrive, your business will thrive, all of it will thrive. Like, this isn't just in romantic relationships. This is how you treat clients. This is how you treat your friendships, all of it.
[00:32:42] Speaker B: I love that you, like, pointed this out because this is something that actually also came up this week in one of my containers with a client who Was like. Like, she just was, like, honest with some of the things that were coming up with her. She's like, I can't. I, Like, I'm not gonna lie to you. A couple of things you've actually said to me, she's like, I've been like, are you about, like, you know.
[00:33:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:03] Speaker B: So annoying. Shut the up. Sure. Like, and I get it, right? It's like, triggers. Because it's like, being in my containers, I'm constantly illuminating shadows and triggers. And she's like, I am just hearing you reflect this within me now from such a different energy. And she's like. And I can receive it now because she's willing to see herself. Right. And it's like, as a mentor, if I. Because I. Like, I'm also really intuitive, so I can feel. I can literally feel when somebody's like. Like, not, like, not receiving the information. Pissed off at me.
[00:33:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:33] Speaker B: Like, I can just feel it. And that's okay. And that. That's a part of it. Right. But it's like, if I wave it every single time one of these clients, like, did that, then there's no way I can facilitate a powerful transformation in my spaces. Right. Because I'm going to be responding to their energy.
[00:33:49] Speaker A: And you're also, like, just making everything mean something about yourself, about me. Exactly.
[00:33:54] Speaker B: And that's the thing. Like. And I used to do this in my containers. This has been a lesson for me to learn. I really did do this in my containers. I really took everything so personally. I was really sensitive. I really felt like, oh, my God. They're upset at me for saying this now, and I feel so bad, but I had to say it.
[00:34:09] Speaker A: And I. Yeah, I remember, like, I was doing a bit of coaching on Sheila once and something she was saying, and I really. I remember having this moment was, this is where things really changed for you. This was a long time ago. But I was like, you actually do realize, like, when a client is triggered or whatever, it actually doesn't. They're not angry at you.
[00:34:29] Speaker B: Oh, my God. When you said. Yeah, wait, what?
[00:34:31] Speaker A: You're like, your ego was like, they're not angry at me. I'm like, they're not angry at you. I couldn't agree at the situation. And they're angry, like, within themselves, and they're like, they just can't handle what's going on. But I'm like, even then, like, even understanding that, like, it's just, like, it has nothing to do with you. Right.
[00:34:47] Speaker B: And even after that understanding. Sorry, it took me a While to get there, like, I was still, like, having to practice that.
[00:34:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:54] Speaker B: I think it really, like, hit, you know, when you just, like, receive things at different levels.
[00:34:58] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:59] Speaker B: Throughout your journey, it's like, that landed. That code landed. And I was like, whoa, it doesn't mean anything about me. And then I got to practice that. And it was last year when I was ending with clients, you know, closing up for the year, and I just, like, had, like, such different spaces. Like, some clients were, like, loving it, and they're like, oh, my God. Praising me. And I used to thrive off of being praised. Right, because you were insecure. Because I was insecure. I needed that. Yeah. I needed the validation. I was like, yeah, tell me, what.
[00:35:23] Speaker A: Are your biggest fears? Was being canceled one of my biggest fears? Yeah.
[00:35:26] Speaker B: Literally. So then after that, I was like, what happened? Then after that, there was, like, another group of the clients that I was working that were really feeling triggered by the space. They were not having a good end of the year, and they were like, off, bitch. I'm out. Right? Yeah.
[00:35:39] Speaker A: Like, I need some space.
[00:35:40] Speaker B: I need some space from you. And I was just like, I get it. Right? And I was just like, in this experience, this duality, and I was like, wow, this is, like, the first time, really, in a long time that I've been able to receive the positive and the negative, and I did not make any of it mean anything about me. And it was such a liberating moment because I was like, it doesn't mean anything about me. It can't mean anything about me because I've been consistent throughout this whole thing. Right. And it's like, they're changing the way that they're receiving me. And I've real, like, what I have learned throughout my time is, like, it's how willing they are to see themselves. So even when they're praising me in my containers, they're not praising me. They're praising the energy. They're praising themselves for being able to see themselves. That's why they're feeling so expansive, so lit up. Right. Because they're finally able to see the shadow and to make the change.
[00:36:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:24] Speaker B: Whereas when they're not able to see. And this is what my client was project, like, was saying to me. She was like. Like, I wasn't able to see myself. I wasn't able to see this truth that you were reflecting. And as a result, I was judging you and judging the space and wanting to, like, the space off. And I was like, it's just such a powerful, like, reflection to have yeah, 100.
[00:36:43] Speaker A: And like sometimes when you are like, sometimes it's hard to see your own triggers. But then also like what I notice happens sometimes is that that same wound or that same trigger shows up a few times. It could be like with friends or it could happen again with a client. And then having that self awareness to be like, okay, like this shows up a lot in many different relationships. Maybe it is me. Yeah, maybe this is like something I'm either sensitive about or like, I, I can't handle as a truth. So that's like really important as well. And then also something like going back to what I said. What is really like, you know, important is, you know, even like Sheila was just talking about how she as a mentor, like can hold people being triggered at her and things like that, but vice versa, in a situation where like you as a mentor also need to be able to hold feedback if you're getting that and you know, there will be moments where maybe you need to be reflection is going to be given to you and there are times that you're going to grow. Right. It's not always about being in this situation, and I know we mentioned it before in the podcast, but not always being in a situation where if someone's triggered at you or whatever that you're like, it's them sometimes, you know, and it does help when the person comes from a feedback energy, not from a defensive energy. Because I feel like when you're getting told something, you know, our ego can really focus on the way it's being delivered rather than what's actually being said. Yeah, but it's really important if you are a mentor in this space or you have a business or even in any form of relationship.
Yes. Understand that judgment does come from people's projections. But then also sometimes you're, you're.
[00:38:16] Speaker B: It's like what depends on how.
[00:38:18] Speaker A: Shadow work is very multifaceted.
[00:38:19] Speaker B: It is because you have to be able to look at yourself and be like, okay, well maybe like, this is something I could do better and I could improve in this and this person reflected that within me. But it's like what you said there, that was the key defining factor of like, is this a situation in which I actually need to grow as a mentor and as person, or is this a situation where the person is actually projecting their shit onto me and it's the emotion in which it's being delivered.
[00:38:43] Speaker A: It's the emotion in which it's being delivered from. And like things like, you know, in this space, it's like, you know, was I being rude or did I. Did I come across that harsh? Or, like, because sometimes people are sensitive and because they're so triggered, it's like, amplified because of their emotions. So that, like, really comes back down to my point of, like, being able to be someone who can see things from multiple perspectives, hold neutrality, take accountability for yourself, but then also understand where projection's coming from. There's so much here is the sexiest quality.
[00:39:11] Speaker B: It's the sexiest quality if we, like, wrap this all up. And what this all comes down to is also, like, your relationship with yourself, like your internal world, like, how you relate to other people, other things. It's like, it's a reflection of how you relate to yourself. So it's like, if you want to start improving this energy and actually, like, shifting this energy, and, like, you want to be mindful of, like, what you're putting out there, and you actually want to be a part of, like, creating this positive impact in the world. Because this is what it's about. It's about being this version of you. Right? Yeah. It's about looking at how you talk to yourself, how you conflict, resolute, how you judge yourself.
[00:39:49] Speaker A: Right. Like, that's. That's literally something I was gonna say as well. Like, this is so important that it literally came up now. Something also to really know about judgment is, like, when we're saying it as a mirror, a lot of the time you don't actually realize is what you're judging in someone else is what you hundred percent judge within yourself.
[00:40:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:07] Speaker A: Like, I remember having a client come to me and she was just like, feeling this. Feeling that, like, you know, a lot.
[00:40:13] Speaker B: Of.
[00:40:15] Speaker A: People, like, she was putting in so much effort towards, like, putting in, like, you know, dates, I mean, studies in her programs and things like that. Like, what I mean by that is, like, she was running a course in which she needed a lot of scientific facts and things like that. And she would judge. She's. She's literally like, I judge people that don't, like, have that evidence and things like that. And what I was reflected back to her in those moments is that judgment is because she doesn't feel, like, valuable enough without having, like, that source there. Like, her. She couldn't be. She couldn't run a program without someone backing her up, like some sort of scientific evidence backing up her program.
[00:40:51] Speaker B: Right.
[00:40:51] Speaker A: And that was just like such a mirror in that moment. I was like, oh. Literally, like, this is what's happening.
[00:40:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:55] Speaker A: What you've just judged and what you've noticed that Is because you have to have that within yourself. So you actually have that. You know what I mean? And it's. It's. It's wild how it works.
[00:41:04] Speaker B: It is.
[00:41:05] Speaker A: And it's like.
[00:41:06] Speaker B: Yeah, so gone.
[00:41:07] Speaker A: No, no, go on.
[00:41:09] Speaker B: We're so bad with interrupting each other. We're actually. I don't get offended.
[00:41:13] Speaker A: No, I don't care either.
[00:41:15] Speaker B: Neither.
[00:41:15] Speaker A: But I do it a lot. It's something I gotta work on, but I don't care.
Do you know what I mean? But like, you, other people, we do it.
[00:41:22] Speaker B: Yeah, we do it to each other, but you don't really do it to other people.
[00:41:24] Speaker A: It's not like I'm. No, I don't do it a lot now. It's because we just yappers.
[00:41:28] Speaker B: And I'm just like, you shut the up. My turn.
[00:41:30] Speaker A: Yeah, that's it.
[00:41:31] Speaker B: Wait. I want to look at what I wrote down. I just want to make sure that I literally have everything. Yeah, but, yeah, just to highlight there again.
[00:41:38] Speaker A: It's just like all. Really think about, like, when you think of someone and be like, oh, that's ugly, or whatever. It's like. It's just. Sometimes it is an opinion, but it's just like, it's always.
[00:41:50] Speaker B: But it's like, why even have that opinion? Like, why even need to? Like, you know what I mean?
[00:41:54] Speaker A: Like, sometimes you just genuinely think something's not, like, you just don't like, attractive. That's fine. Like, you can have an opinion. Sometimes you're gonna look at a house and be like, I don't like it.
[00:42:01] Speaker B: You know what? True.
[00:42:02] Speaker A: Like, it's not that deep. Like, you don't need to. Seriously, you know, it's not that deep. We do have opinions and things like that, but that's different. It comes from an. There's no charged energy behind that.
[00:42:11] Speaker B: Right.
[00:42:11] Speaker A: And that's not really judgment. Like, we're really talking about those moments in which we're just like, constantly. You know what I mean? Like, something you used to say as well. Like, you're constantly judging other people, like, in this space and mentors and what they're saying. Because you would. You would do that to yourself. Yeah. No, and that's what I mean by being a mirror. Like, literally what you judge is like, what you always judge within yourself.
[00:42:30] Speaker B: Yeah, I used to do that a lot. That was bad. I used to, like, nitpick what everyone was saying, question it. Because I would question everything that would come out of my mouth. I'd be like, like, like, literally, we used to do that. So Much. Remember how much we used to talk about things to the depth, to make sure that we covered all angles?
[00:42:45] Speaker A: Yeah. 100.
[00:42:46] Speaker B: That was sickening.
[00:42:47] Speaker A: That was sickening.
[00:42:48] Speaker B: We were literally sickos doing that.
[00:42:50] Speaker A: We were. We were. We've learned a lot in the last couple years.
[00:42:52] Speaker B: We have. So I think, like, right now, with the state of the world, with all the judgment that's being spread, if you want to be a positive impact in the world, if you want to share, Love light. Right. Which is your mission, which is what your soul is here to do with this knowledge that you have. You have so much good influence that you can be sharing to the people in your sphere, the people in your world. Right. We can make positive ripples with positive energy. And it comes down to what you're projecting onto the world around you, onto society, onto yourself. Like, this is how you create. This is how you create change. This is how you actually grow beyond these negative frequencies. And you actually see the evolution and the rising of, like, the collective consciousness. Like, this is how we do it.
[00:43:37] Speaker A: Yeah. And you will live a much more peaceful life. Like, being able to illuminate your own shadows, your own projections, hold yourself when other people are doing it to you is what will create the most peaceful life.
[00:43:49] Speaker B: It really will.
[00:43:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:50] Speaker B: We love this newfound.
[00:43:52] Speaker A: I feel like my life has become so much peaceful. Peaceful.
[00:43:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:43:57] Speaker A: That's the best way to describe it.
[00:43:58] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm just, like, literally so much happier now with just not feeling like I have to fight the world and just. It's. I don't know, it's just like feeling the sense of power as well. Right. Because it's like, I actually can have a positive influence on the world and the people around me, and this is how I do it. And as soon as you start to live your life like this, I promise you, you're going to actually see the positive ripple effects with, like, everyone around you. So it's just, like, so empowering to see. And you actually see the work that you want to put out in the world making a positive impact. It's just. You see the ripple effect.
[00:44:32] Speaker A: You do. You absolutely do.
[00:44:34] Speaker B: So, yeah. I feel like we're just gonna end the episode there. I feel like we said what we needed to say.
[00:44:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, see you in the next episode.
[00:44:42] Speaker B: Right. That was so dramatic. Is it dramatic? Yes.
[00:44:45] Speaker A: I had a vision of her saying that. Like, I had a vision of you actually saying, that's dramatic. You're just like, okay, so it's like, I just had deja vu.
[00:44:52] Speaker B: Bye. Like, and then you're just like, see ya.
[00:44:54] Speaker A: See ya.
[00:44:55] Speaker B: You gotta, like, you know, we're gonna miss you. We can't wait till next week.
[00:44:58] Speaker A: Can't wait till next week.
[00:44:59] Speaker B: Jeez.
[00:45:01] Speaker A: Just.
[00:45:01] Speaker B: I feel like with sex start. No. How it is with you when you're having sex with Anthony, you just like, at the end, you're like, okay, see ya.
[00:45:07] Speaker A: No, this is like, you can talk. When she basically starts the episode with no foreplay, doesn't ask how I am. She's like, this is what we're talking about today. But we cut it out because, well.
[00:45:16] Speaker B: Nobody'S gonna believe you. I don't know.
[00:45:17] Speaker A: Yeah, no one's gonna believe me anyway.
[00:45:19] Speaker B: Anyway, we're dramatic. Yeah. Okay. So bye, guys. We're gonna miss you.
[00:45:22] Speaker A: I'm gonna miss you.
[00:45:23] Speaker B: Please, if you like the episode, please share it with other people, because again, we said there's a lot of, like, this going on in the world right now, so this episode needs to be out there. It needs to be seen by as many people as possible, and it's the best way to show your love and support for the podcast.
[00:45:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:45:39] Speaker B: Yeah. And don't forget to like and subscribe.
[00:45:41] Speaker A: Subscribe.
[00:45:41] Speaker B: Yeah. And don't forget to let us know how this landed with you. We love hearing from you as well. So, yeah. Thank you so much.
[00:45:47] Speaker A: See you in the next episode.
